Not really digging the new background or the header, but for now, it will have to do.
I have given up on writing the code for my own blog, and realized this morning that blogger has tabs to add new pages... so.... voila.... I can have basically the same site here on blogger without all of the confusion of coding when i barely know what I am doing.
So now for some real information:
Currently, I am a vagrant. I have no job, no place to be, and basically no responsibilities. That sounds like an enticing work ethic for future employers doesn't it? Well, with the exception of putting this small piece of information on my blog (joke), I am not spreading that news around. I already bounced it off one arrogant man and got insulted. However, I think that the insult was on him... he made fun of my degree, communication, and then in turn, ;i used my communication skills to back his sorry arrogant cancer lobbyist end all be all attitude into the corner of the champagne tasting room that we were in. I think he might still be reeling from confusion... do you think that he has figured out that he was insulted or what a rotationplasty is?
I just got back from my AMAZING three week trip to France. The details could be published in to a short story, so to make it even shorter, it was so great. If you want more details, give me a call and i'll give you a short vignette, otherwise, it looks like you'll be waiting for the published version, and i am not sure when that will make it to the shelves, but keep and eye out.
So, I've made some changes to my blog, hopefully, over the next few days, I can get things squared away around here. I still have some stories that I haven't put up and so other things that are kind of cool. For now, check out that article that i posted before this one on Eco-Terrorism..... a very important issue facing society today... to turn or not to turn off the lightbulb.... that is the question.
For now, here's a quote: "Don't write anything you can phone. Don't phone anything you can talk. Don't talk anything you can whisper. Don't whisper anything you can smile. Don't smile anything you can nod. Don't nod anything you can wink."
B
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Saturday, June 11, 2011
Eco-terrorist?
So, I read this article the other day and i liked it. I am an eco-terrorist, but i try and improve myself everyday. Enjoy....
So, here's where I stand on the whole "Save the Planet" thing. I'm far from being a hippie. I don't shop with canvas bags, although I genuinely would like to remember that they are in the trunk of my car EVERY time I go to the grocery store. When I thaw meat, I leave it in a bowl of running water for about an hour (and feel guilty about it). When I take a shower, I enjoy it for however long I like (and don't feel guilty about it). I use disposable diapers from Seventh Generation (also no guilt there). One of our cars is not a hybrid and I drive it everywhere, usually without carpooling. I don't unplug my computer or toaster daily-- okay, EVER... and I still throw away many plastic bags (yes, I said it, so all of you who are also too busy to remember when recycling day is-- or worse, who have to go take your recycling to the Recycling Center-- can join me in my shame).
That being said, I don't buy soda or plastic water bottles, and I don't litter or spit my gum out anywhere but in a garbage. I try to get paper instead of plastic at the store and reuse the bags often, and I drink everything from a glass or reusable bottle. I wait until the dishwasher and washer/dryer are full before doing loads, I like to turn out lights when i leave a room, and I immediately fix all dripping faucets. We support a local farm share, I recycle all old electronics, I trained myself to turn off the water while brushing my teeth, and I have a compost bucket in the kitchen. I rarely use plasticware, and I NEVER use styrofoam. I don't even like ordering takeout from restaurants that use it for packaging and I think it should be illegal.
So, why the sudden confession? Well, honestly I feel a little bombarded with the current media obsession over GREEN. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this beautiful planet. I get pissed when I see a car spewing black smoke or someone littering on the street. It's obvious that over the last fifty years we have not been kind to this earth, which is truly a gift. However, I think there needs to be a healthy dose of reality added to the Green agenda. From what I've seen, the Green movement has prioritized the environment & animals over the condition of the human heart and the condition of our freedoms. There are holocausts occurring in the world! There are children and babies being sold for sex and drug trafficking! There are people starving everywhere. There are little boys being trained for guerrilla militia daily. Innocence is being robbed EVERYWHERE. Thirty million Americans are functionally illiterate. Women are still devastatingly oppressed all over the world... The list goes on and on.
But above all this -- your neighbor is sick and can't afford his medical bills. The elderly are often cast aside as useless and sometimes discarded into poorly cared for facilities. Pornography is still tearing apart marriages, and someone you know is being sexually abused. Racism is not yet a thing of the past, and people still spend energy hating others over things like sexual preference and religious preference...
"But," some might say, "without the planet, we won't even exist to fight those issues in the first place!"
Really? You want to wait until the planet and the tigers are saved before you start combatting the darkness in your own backyard? If your children are being abused in your home but you're upside-down on your mortgage, would you focus on paying the bills, saying, "Without a house, we won't even have a place to live in while we stop the abuse!?" Of course not!
Look, here's the meat and potatoes of what I'm trying to say...
If you feel a strong calling-- a connection to the environment or certain animals in danger, I would never say to ignore that calling. If you feel your destiny is with Greenpeace, by all means, give Greenpeace hell! Perhaps you are meant to make a great difference in the lives of the people you encounter while on this charge--perhaps they in yours. But it IS the PEOPLE who are most important here. I would challenge you all to revisit your position on this. Yes, do what you can within reason to respect the earth we've been given -- recycle when you can, turn off lights and don't litter. Yes, toss a quarter or dollar into the cup with the picture of the malnourished horse at the checkout counter. But please don't stop there! You are meant to make a significant contribution to the people in this world, no matter how small. Sure, it's easier to just throw money or support at any random organization that seems worthy, just as it is easier to maintain surface friendships -- intentionality is HARD WORK! But we are designed for it. We are fulfilled in the pursuing of relationship more than activity...
So, carry on! Enjoy completing your civil and environmental duties, but don't forget to be intentional with the relationships around you! And remember that your philanthropic cause is not more or as important as the person with whom you are crusading.
So, here's where I stand on the whole "Save the Planet" thing. I'm far from being a hippie. I don't shop with canvas bags, although I genuinely would like to remember that they are in the trunk of my car EVERY time I go to the grocery store. When I thaw meat, I leave it in a bowl of running water for about an hour (and feel guilty about it). When I take a shower, I enjoy it for however long I like (and don't feel guilty about it). I use disposable diapers from Seventh Generation (also no guilt there). One of our cars is not a hybrid and I drive it everywhere, usually without carpooling. I don't unplug my computer or toaster daily-- okay, EVER... and I still throw away many plastic bags (yes, I said it, so all of you who are also too busy to remember when recycling day is-- or worse, who have to go take your recycling to the Recycling Center-- can join me in my shame).
That being said, I don't buy soda or plastic water bottles, and I don't litter or spit my gum out anywhere but in a garbage. I try to get paper instead of plastic at the store and reuse the bags often, and I drink everything from a glass or reusable bottle. I wait until the dishwasher and washer/dryer are full before doing loads, I like to turn out lights when i leave a room, and I immediately fix all dripping faucets. We support a local farm share, I recycle all old electronics, I trained myself to turn off the water while brushing my teeth, and I have a compost bucket in the kitchen. I rarely use plasticware, and I NEVER use styrofoam. I don't even like ordering takeout from restaurants that use it for packaging and I think it should be illegal.
So, why the sudden confession? Well, honestly I feel a little bombarded with the current media obsession over GREEN. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this beautiful planet. I get pissed when I see a car spewing black smoke or someone littering on the street. It's obvious that over the last fifty years we have not been kind to this earth, which is truly a gift. However, I think there needs to be a healthy dose of reality added to the Green agenda. From what I've seen, the Green movement has prioritized the environment & animals over the condition of the human heart and the condition of our freedoms. There are holocausts occurring in the world! There are children and babies being sold for sex and drug trafficking! There are people starving everywhere. There are little boys being trained for guerrilla militia daily. Innocence is being robbed EVERYWHERE. Thirty million Americans are functionally illiterate. Women are still devastatingly oppressed all over the world... The list goes on and on.
But above all this -- your neighbor is sick and can't afford his medical bills. The elderly are often cast aside as useless and sometimes discarded into poorly cared for facilities. Pornography is still tearing apart marriages, and someone you know is being sexually abused. Racism is not yet a thing of the past, and people still spend energy hating others over things like sexual preference and religious preference...
"But," some might say, "without the planet, we won't even exist to fight those issues in the first place!"
Really? You want to wait until the planet and the tigers are saved before you start combatting the darkness in your own backyard? If your children are being abused in your home but you're upside-down on your mortgage, would you focus on paying the bills, saying, "Without a house, we won't even have a place to live in while we stop the abuse!?" Of course not!
Look, here's the meat and potatoes of what I'm trying to say...
If you feel a strong calling-- a connection to the environment or certain animals in danger, I would never say to ignore that calling. If you feel your destiny is with Greenpeace, by all means, give Greenpeace hell! Perhaps you are meant to make a great difference in the lives of the people you encounter while on this charge--perhaps they in yours. But it IS the PEOPLE who are most important here. I would challenge you all to revisit your position on this. Yes, do what you can within reason to respect the earth we've been given -- recycle when you can, turn off lights and don't litter. Yes, toss a quarter or dollar into the cup with the picture of the malnourished horse at the checkout counter. But please don't stop there! You are meant to make a significant contribution to the people in this world, no matter how small. Sure, it's easier to just throw money or support at any random organization that seems worthy, just as it is easier to maintain surface friendships -- intentionality is HARD WORK! But we are designed for it. We are fulfilled in the pursuing of relationship more than activity...
So, carry on! Enjoy completing your civil and environmental duties, but don't forget to be intentional with the relationships around you! And remember that your philanthropic cause is not more or as important as the person with whom you are crusading.
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
Pen
My pen is the barrel of a gun, which side are you on?
Right now it’s a Pilot G-2 05, and in the past few days it’s been too mighty for its own good. Twice now in the last week, I haven’t been able to publish a few of my masterpieces for fear of losing a so called friend, getting someone else fired from their job, or getting myself in more trouble than I care to get out of. Either way, trace all of these written mistakes or moments of sheer genius back to the beginning, and the blame can be nicely put on the pen.
The words that the pen writes may be done through some sort of abstract mental inspiration, but as soon as the actual ink that hits the paper, it becomes pure concrete fact. And that’s why, too many times now, the pen has gotten people into trouble.
In fact, the pen has been attacking people for years. Its defense isn’t too bad either. The power of the pen to express the written word has created a power far greater than any weapon we’ve ever imagined. As the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword. Follow that out a bit further, and you get the idea of living and dying by the sword. So why not the pen too?
Could the inventors of the first official writing tool have ever imagined that a swift mark of some black ink, or any color for that matter, from a quill, ballpoint, or felt tip pen, could have been so powerful?
Probably not… But writing something down can change your life. And not just your own, but anyone’s really. With the creation of the pen also came a set of problems and solutions that forever changed how we as people would go about our daily lives. Maybe that’s why the Indians stuck with an oral society.
The pen is far more accurate and precise than any oral tradition of story recounting, or bow and arrow, or musket ball ever was. This gives new meaning to a ball point pen.
But as time passes and things evolve, some creations get better, and others worse, but the pen stays the same. In fact, it has changed little over its lifetime.
Pens have been around since almost the beginning. Hieroglyphics, cave paintings, and even finger painting are all examples of early uses of pens. Pens as we know it, with ink, surprisingly were not perfected until the late 19th century.
These days pens are everywhere in every form… a stick, a piece of metal, your finger. In fact, the word pen is defined as the instrument of writing or authorship. That is definitely true. And even with all the technology that is lying around these days, all that typed work and buttons pressed, and kindles sold, at one point or another, came down to a red pen mark. Some may even argue that the pen is boundless.
Stop! So there is one limit. Pens have class. No, not class as in the high waisted dresses, cocktail hour every afternoon at five o’clock kind of way, but class as in there is a hierarchy of pens. That’s right, a class system: upper, middle, lower, some are better than others—hierarchy.
Take my G-2 for example. It’s a pretty good pen. Black. Refillable. It gets the job done as far as writing is concerned, but as frequent pen users, we all know that some pens are superior to others.
Exhibit A: Pen Envy. Pen envy is a real thing, and we all have had it at one time or another.
It’s like when you borrow a pen from someone, use it, and then say, “Wow, this is a really nice pen!” And they agree because they know it’s a good pen, and they know that you’re jealous and that you are doing one of two things. The first, thinking of a way to steal their pen, or hopefully the second, carefully reading that rubbed down writing on the side of the it in hopes of being able to approach the massive pen wall at Walmart to find the exact same one.
Pens can also be expensive gifts. Like when your grandparents give you an expensive pen for graduation or your birthday. Hopefully, you wrote the thank you card, maybe with the pen even, but have you ever used it again? Probably not. It’s one of those gifts that you say, “Thanks grandma, I haven’t ever got one of these before.” Maybe not the best gift you have ever gotten, but remember, it’s the thought that counts.
A pen can be your best friend or it can be your worst enemy. Most people see a pen as a writing implement, device, appliance, if you will. And it is, but it is also a lot of other things too.
A pen can: open the plastic on a new pack of notebook paper, make a temporary tattoo, draw a picture, break a friendship, start a war, officiate a marriage, give you a good name, give you a bad name, buy you dinner (the credit card bill of course), ruin your new favorite shirt….
Don’t believe that these reasons equal pen power. Keep reading.
On a scale from one to pen….err….ten, the pen is at the top of the power scale. Everything goes back to it. Take a problem or a solution, and you can trace the line all the way back to some document that was filled out and signed….. with a pen.
Some things that are signed with a pen: The Declaration of Independence, a birth certificate, your reading log in the 5th grade, report cards, diplomas… If you want credibility baby, you need a pen.
Speaking of birth certificates, the very pen starts our life by inking our names on a piece of paper and then again finishes our time here by marking down the instant of our last breath. The pen does all this, and everything in between.
Pens know no boundaries. They speak every language, know every history, the truths and the fallacies. They come in any color, can be used by any color, by any age, boy or girl, it doesn’t matter. The pen sees no lines except for the ones that it draws itself.
I say all of this to say, a pen is a small thing. You never think about it, you just use it. But the pen that is lodged under the seat in your car, or is in the black hole bottom of your purse, or maybe that is neatly tucked into your right shirt pocket ready for use, is the same pen that will change your life. Every action you do, every new thing that happens, can go back to something that was written down with a pen.
Can a pen change your life?
Yes, yes I do believe it can.
Right now it’s a Pilot G-2 05, and in the past few days it’s been too mighty for its own good. Twice now in the last week, I haven’t been able to publish a few of my masterpieces for fear of losing a so called friend, getting someone else fired from their job, or getting myself in more trouble than I care to get out of. Either way, trace all of these written mistakes or moments of sheer genius back to the beginning, and the blame can be nicely put on the pen.
The words that the pen writes may be done through some sort of abstract mental inspiration, but as soon as the actual ink that hits the paper, it becomes pure concrete fact. And that’s why, too many times now, the pen has gotten people into trouble.
In fact, the pen has been attacking people for years. Its defense isn’t too bad either. The power of the pen to express the written word has created a power far greater than any weapon we’ve ever imagined. As the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword. Follow that out a bit further, and you get the idea of living and dying by the sword. So why not the pen too?
Could the inventors of the first official writing tool have ever imagined that a swift mark of some black ink, or any color for that matter, from a quill, ballpoint, or felt tip pen, could have been so powerful?
Probably not… But writing something down can change your life. And not just your own, but anyone’s really. With the creation of the pen also came a set of problems and solutions that forever changed how we as people would go about our daily lives. Maybe that’s why the Indians stuck with an oral society.
The pen is far more accurate and precise than any oral tradition of story recounting, or bow and arrow, or musket ball ever was. This gives new meaning to a ball point pen.
But as time passes and things evolve, some creations get better, and others worse, but the pen stays the same. In fact, it has changed little over its lifetime.
Pens have been around since almost the beginning. Hieroglyphics, cave paintings, and even finger painting are all examples of early uses of pens. Pens as we know it, with ink, surprisingly were not perfected until the late 19th century.
These days pens are everywhere in every form… a stick, a piece of metal, your finger. In fact, the word pen is defined as the instrument of writing or authorship. That is definitely true. And even with all the technology that is lying around these days, all that typed work and buttons pressed, and kindles sold, at one point or another, came down to a red pen mark. Some may even argue that the pen is boundless.
Stop! So there is one limit. Pens have class. No, not class as in the high waisted dresses, cocktail hour every afternoon at five o’clock kind of way, but class as in there is a hierarchy of pens. That’s right, a class system: upper, middle, lower, some are better than others—hierarchy.
Take my G-2 for example. It’s a pretty good pen. Black. Refillable. It gets the job done as far as writing is concerned, but as frequent pen users, we all know that some pens are superior to others.
Exhibit A: Pen Envy. Pen envy is a real thing, and we all have had it at one time or another.
It’s like when you borrow a pen from someone, use it, and then say, “Wow, this is a really nice pen!” And they agree because they know it’s a good pen, and they know that you’re jealous and that you are doing one of two things. The first, thinking of a way to steal their pen, or hopefully the second, carefully reading that rubbed down writing on the side of the it in hopes of being able to approach the massive pen wall at Walmart to find the exact same one.
Pens can also be expensive gifts. Like when your grandparents give you an expensive pen for graduation or your birthday. Hopefully, you wrote the thank you card, maybe with the pen even, but have you ever used it again? Probably not. It’s one of those gifts that you say, “Thanks grandma, I haven’t ever got one of these before.” Maybe not the best gift you have ever gotten, but remember, it’s the thought that counts.
A pen can be your best friend or it can be your worst enemy. Most people see a pen as a writing implement, device, appliance, if you will. And it is, but it is also a lot of other things too.
A pen can: open the plastic on a new pack of notebook paper, make a temporary tattoo, draw a picture, break a friendship, start a war, officiate a marriage, give you a good name, give you a bad name, buy you dinner (the credit card bill of course), ruin your new favorite shirt….
Don’t believe that these reasons equal pen power. Keep reading.
On a scale from one to pen….err….ten, the pen is at the top of the power scale. Everything goes back to it. Take a problem or a solution, and you can trace the line all the way back to some document that was filled out and signed….. with a pen.
Some things that are signed with a pen: The Declaration of Independence, a birth certificate, your reading log in the 5th grade, report cards, diplomas… If you want credibility baby, you need a pen.
Speaking of birth certificates, the very pen starts our life by inking our names on a piece of paper and then again finishes our time here by marking down the instant of our last breath. The pen does all this, and everything in between.
Pens know no boundaries. They speak every language, know every history, the truths and the fallacies. They come in any color, can be used by any color, by any age, boy or girl, it doesn’t matter. The pen sees no lines except for the ones that it draws itself.
I say all of this to say, a pen is a small thing. You never think about it, you just use it. But the pen that is lodged under the seat in your car, or is in the black hole bottom of your purse, or maybe that is neatly tucked into your right shirt pocket ready for use, is the same pen that will change your life. Every action you do, every new thing that happens, can go back to something that was written down with a pen.
Can a pen change your life?
Yes, yes I do believe it can.
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Newman's Finest
The game is MASH. Ever played it? Mansion, apartment, shack, or house. For some, it’s just a game. For others, it is the promise of a better tomorrow. Maybe it’s a bit farfetched, but wouldn’t it be cool.
Brandon Deckman plays. In fact, he lives his life by it. It was that fateful MASH that led Deckman to frame the back of the napkin and hang it high over his bed to read every morning and night, a reminder of his future to come.
MASH: Apartment
Setting: New York City
Job: New York Public Library
Wife: Miranda Kerr
Salary: $19,000 (she makes the big bucks)
Car: Porsche Carrera
Color: Black
Pet: Dog
That’s the goal.
But for now, Deckman is still working his way up to the top. And he has chosen to start in a
very reasonable place. He works at the circulation desk at the Virginia Tech Library. And while the highlight of his day may as well be checking the entrance gates each hour for how many people come in and out, and how many times the alarm has gone off since the last check…thrilling… to him, all this is a means to an end.
Deckman is smart; on and off the books. It’s this combination of street smarts and book smarts, not to mention good looks, that put him a pull above the rest when it comes to library employees.
For him, it’s not unusual to see A’s on research papers. Papers which were based on books that he has yet to read, papers that he usually began at midnight the night before they were due. But with a knowledge base the size of the third floor stacks, creepily persuasive writing skills, and a smile, what else can you do but give the kid an A.
These papers might also be a contributing factor to the reason why he can usually be seen coming in to work a few minutes after his noon start time. But not even the late hours can stop his awesomeness. Guaranteed, he can make it to the library in less than seven minutes, from his bed to the circulation desk, and he doesn’t live all that close.
How many people do you know who can write coherently and without mistakes during the hours after midnight and still make it to work under 10 minutes? Not many.
The library and all that is in it should bow to Deckman’s superior knowledge. After all, last week, his supervisor mentioned that she would discuss a raise with the powers that be.
If given the chance, I am without a doubt that he could reform the library catalogue system from the inside out. And it would probably be better than it is now. Just like how we’ve moved from cards to computers to find books, that Dewey system should be outdated by now, right? They
should just call it the Deckman Decimal System.
But until that time, he is content at the front desk, sitting at the highest chair, with Angela and David at his mighty left and right hands. If you’re looking for a friendly face, ask him, or the guy at the reference desk, he’s really nice too. But Deckman can give you more than just the location of book that you need to check out for class, but won’t really ever read. He’s got secrets, and here he spills….
Step 1: How to get an A on a paper, without really reading the book.
Most teachers assign that you buy a book for the class. In Deckman’s case, he was told to buy three on Karl Marx. Instead of spending the cash, he hit the books, at his home base, the library. There, he can check out the book, that in reality his professor probably used several years before; how often do the books on Karl Marx actually get checked out? From there, he cracks the cover and is fortunate to find pencil marks everywhere, underlined quotes, the good stuff. Because, “the only people who check out these books and write in them are the smart people,” and more than likely was his professor.
Step 2: How to hear semi new music.
Got a hankering for some tunes? On vinyl? Ask Deckman. He will tell you “the library has over 6,000 records in a ‘secret’ warehouse by the Tech airport.” Cd’s your thing? Make that 5,000. Go have a listen.
Step 3: How to find you how much your teacher makes.
Available for check out, “the Virginia Tech Salary Listings can tell you exactly how much your teacher made last year.” Now you can have proof behind your judgment that that professor who wastes your time and is more making you pay for your degree than earn it, is making too much, and the other guy who actually know what he is talking about, is not making enough.
Step 4: How to avoid library fines.
Fines have their consequences, but there are secrets here too. Now this is a big secret. No one is supposed to know, but…. Secrets can always find their way out. Ever checked in a book and not get charged your fine right away? “That’s because there is a three day grace period.” But be careful, if you don’t pay after three days, you will get fined, and if you don’t pay those fines, they won’t let you graduate.
Step 5: How to use the library to your advantage.
The library is way cooler than you would ever expect, at least, that is what the guys say. “To the surprise of many, you can check out magazines from the library.” To the shock of many, you can check out Playboy. Why? How? No idea, but that is enough detail.
To those that work there, the library, and working in a library in general, is to be part of a club. Those on staff, at any library, seem to have connections that go deeper than just checking in and out books.
His belief; connections are very important in the library. It’s not about what you know, but who you know around here.
Hopefully, that attitude will take him to his next goal, Miranda Kerr. But until then, it looks like the chair at the front desk will have to suffice.
P.S.
Those gates you walk through when you enter the 2nd floor. They tell you they are there for security. In fact, they have also been equipped with special Miranda Kerr sensors that Deckman himself secretly installed….. when she walks through those doors, his future will have begun.
Brandon Deckman plays. In fact, he lives his life by it. It was that fateful MASH that led Deckman to frame the back of the napkin and hang it high over his bed to read every morning and night, a reminder of his future to come.
MASH: Apartment
Setting: New York City
Job: New York Public Library
Wife: Miranda Kerr
Salary: $19,000 (she makes the big bucks)
Car: Porsche Carrera
Color: Black
Pet: Dog
That’s the goal.
But for now, Deckman is still working his way up to the top. And he has chosen to start in a
very reasonable place. He works at the circulation desk at the Virginia Tech Library. And while the highlight of his day may as well be checking the entrance gates each hour for how many people come in and out, and how many times the alarm has gone off since the last check…thrilling… to him, all this is a means to an end.
Deckman is smart; on and off the books. It’s this combination of street smarts and book smarts, not to mention good looks, that put him a pull above the rest when it comes to library employees.
For him, it’s not unusual to see A’s on research papers. Papers which were based on books that he has yet to read, papers that he usually began at midnight the night before they were due. But with a knowledge base the size of the third floor stacks, creepily persuasive writing skills, and a smile, what else can you do but give the kid an A.
These papers might also be a contributing factor to the reason why he can usually be seen coming in to work a few minutes after his noon start time. But not even the late hours can stop his awesomeness. Guaranteed, he can make it to the library in less than seven minutes, from his bed to the circulation desk, and he doesn’t live all that close.
How many people do you know who can write coherently and without mistakes during the hours after midnight and still make it to work under 10 minutes? Not many.
The library and all that is in it should bow to Deckman’s superior knowledge. After all, last week, his supervisor mentioned that she would discuss a raise with the powers that be.
If given the chance, I am without a doubt that he could reform the library catalogue system from the inside out. And it would probably be better than it is now. Just like how we’ve moved from cards to computers to find books, that Dewey system should be outdated by now, right? They
should just call it the Deckman Decimal System.
But until that time, he is content at the front desk, sitting at the highest chair, with Angela and David at his mighty left and right hands. If you’re looking for a friendly face, ask him, or the guy at the reference desk, he’s really nice too. But Deckman can give you more than just the location of book that you need to check out for class, but won’t really ever read. He’s got secrets, and here he spills….
Step 1: How to get an A on a paper, without really reading the book.
Most teachers assign that you buy a book for the class. In Deckman’s case, he was told to buy three on Karl Marx. Instead of spending the cash, he hit the books, at his home base, the library. There, he can check out the book, that in reality his professor probably used several years before; how often do the books on Karl Marx actually get checked out? From there, he cracks the cover and is fortunate to find pencil marks everywhere, underlined quotes, the good stuff. Because, “the only people who check out these books and write in them are the smart people,” and more than likely was his professor.
Step 2: How to hear semi new music.
Got a hankering for some tunes? On vinyl? Ask Deckman. He will tell you “the library has over 6,000 records in a ‘secret’ warehouse by the Tech airport.” Cd’s your thing? Make that 5,000. Go have a listen.
Step 3: How to find you how much your teacher makes.
Available for check out, “the Virginia Tech Salary Listings can tell you exactly how much your teacher made last year.” Now you can have proof behind your judgment that that professor who wastes your time and is more making you pay for your degree than earn it, is making too much, and the other guy who actually know what he is talking about, is not making enough.
Step 4: How to avoid library fines.
Fines have their consequences, but there are secrets here too. Now this is a big secret. No one is supposed to know, but…. Secrets can always find their way out. Ever checked in a book and not get charged your fine right away? “That’s because there is a three day grace period.” But be careful, if you don’t pay after three days, you will get fined, and if you don’t pay those fines, they won’t let you graduate.
Step 5: How to use the library to your advantage.
The library is way cooler than you would ever expect, at least, that is what the guys say. “To the surprise of many, you can check out magazines from the library.” To the shock of many, you can check out Playboy. Why? How? No idea, but that is enough detail.
To those that work there, the library, and working in a library in general, is to be part of a club. Those on staff, at any library, seem to have connections that go deeper than just checking in and out books.
His belief; connections are very important in the library. It’s not about what you know, but who you know around here.
Hopefully, that attitude will take him to his next goal, Miranda Kerr. But until then, it looks like the chair at the front desk will have to suffice.
P.S.
Those gates you walk through when you enter the 2nd floor. They tell you they are there for security. In fact, they have also been equipped with special Miranda Kerr sensors that Deckman himself secretly installed….. when she walks through those doors, his future will have begun.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Where have I been?
Wow, it's been forever since I have written anything! I have been so busy, stick spring break in the middle of that, one with no internet or tv, and then come back to school, and BAM! This is the perfect formula for Brittany is really, really busy.
But so much for my complaining.
I had an amazing awesome spring break, so many great highlights, but one big theme was.... shocker..... eating. I ate so much, and not because I have some weird glutinous obsession, but because the food was amazing this week, and as we all know, it's all about the food. So, let's talk about it.
I started my trip hitting some local hotspots.... not really, actually, this was a place that Brandon randomly chose on his phone.
Motor Supply Co Bistro
Columbia, SC
http://www.motorsupplycobistro.com/pages/menu.html
This place was amazing. I had a take on shrimp and grits. Basically, it was shrimp in a salsa verde with butter risotto...... YUM! Menus are handwritten here, and are changed everyday. The waitress was even nice enough to let us keep one.
Great, great, great..... go here! The staff was really friendly, told us what "not" to order, and even gave us a suggestions for later that day as we continued south.
Speaking of south, next stop on our train was Savannah, GA. Okay, if you have never been to Savannah, go. Go right now! This place is so fantastic! I had heard that it was pretty but i was so impressed. People are friendly, the town is so beautiful you feel like you are in a movie set, there are restaurants everywhere, and every street is covered with tress and spanish moss. It took everything I had to leave that next morning. Thank God it was raining, otherwise I would probably still be there.
In Savannah, and as poor college students, we couldn't maintain our lunch budget, so we hit up a Scottish pub that had been recommended by the bistro.
Molly MacPhersons Pub was great, (really great).
Savannah, GA
http://www.macphersonspub.com/Main/Home.aspx
I shared the meatload with Claire, and although the waitress was exceptionally rude, she would be one of two on our trip, honestly the food was probably the best pup food I have ever had the priviledge of eating. The potato scones with raspberry sauce were to die for.
After the night in Savannah, we left..... so sad.
Finally, hours later, we hit Florida. After a sketchy stop in Lake City, which was followed by Chik-fil-A in Gainesville, we made it to Sarasota.
Sarasota adventure to come..... gotta go to class. Get excited, this part is good too!
But so much for my complaining.
I had an amazing awesome spring break, so many great highlights, but one big theme was.... shocker..... eating. I ate so much, and not because I have some weird glutinous obsession, but because the food was amazing this week, and as we all know, it's all about the food. So, let's talk about it.
I started my trip hitting some local hotspots.... not really, actually, this was a place that Brandon randomly chose on his phone.
Motor Supply Co Bistro
Columbia, SC
http://www.motorsupplycobistro.com/pages/menu.html
This place was amazing. I had a take on shrimp and grits. Basically, it was shrimp in a salsa verde with butter risotto...... YUM! Menus are handwritten here, and are changed everyday. The waitress was even nice enough to let us keep one.
Great, great, great..... go here! The staff was really friendly, told us what "not" to order, and even gave us a suggestions for later that day as we continued south.
Speaking of south, next stop on our train was Savannah, GA. Okay, if you have never been to Savannah, go. Go right now! This place is so fantastic! I had heard that it was pretty but i was so impressed. People are friendly, the town is so beautiful you feel like you are in a movie set, there are restaurants everywhere, and every street is covered with tress and spanish moss. It took everything I had to leave that next morning. Thank God it was raining, otherwise I would probably still be there.
In Savannah, and as poor college students, we couldn't maintain our lunch budget, so we hit up a Scottish pub that had been recommended by the bistro.
Molly MacPhersons Pub was great, (really great).
Savannah, GA
http://www.macphersonspub.com/Main/Home.aspx
I shared the meatload with Claire, and although the waitress was exceptionally rude, she would be one of two on our trip, honestly the food was probably the best pup food I have ever had the priviledge of eating. The potato scones with raspberry sauce were to die for.
After the night in Savannah, we left..... so sad.
Finally, hours later, we hit Florida. After a sketchy stop in Lake City, which was followed by Chik-fil-A in Gainesville, we made it to Sarasota.
Sarasota adventure to come..... gotta go to class. Get excited, this part is good too!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)