Sunday, June 26, 2011

2:37 am

"Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark in the hopeless swaps of the not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish in lonely frustration for the life you deserved and have never been able to reach. The world you desire can be won. It exists.. it is real.. it is possible.. it's yours."
— Ayn Rand (Atlas Shrugged)

The not-quite, the not-yet, and the not-at all. I was thinking about this quote and I am not sure if I am just completely wrapped up in the beautiful complexity of its writing, or if it actually means something? If nothing else Ann Rand always had a lot to say, just look at the size of her books.... but she she does hold her position in literature for a reason.

These past few weeks I have been running around, with not much going on. In fact, I can't think of any other time in my life when I have had this little to do. I spent last week laying on a wicker chair on a screened in porch, reading. The humidity was thick, but the characters in my story spent most of their time complaining about the summer heat, so really all the temperature did was draw me deeper into my book. That and make me refill my glass every 20 minutes. Did anyone know that ice could melt so fast?

But the reading really got to me. The way that words on paper can truly change how you feel or look at something. The book I was reading turned out to have a terrible ending, however, at the end, I was still completely in love with it. Half because the story was so good, but the other half because the language was just so darn beautiful. Descriptive and pretty, and wordy yes, but with a bit of persistence on my part to get used to the style, I was transported to a world that didn't require a limitation of what my eyes could see, but instead allowed my imagination to create a vast picture of whatever I wanted the story to look like.

And as I sat there on the patio, reading... I knew that at some point in the next few months, my life has to begin. As much as I love it, I can't stay out on the patio reading all day. My back begins to hurt from lying down and I have to get a real job.

So that is where I am now. What do I want in my life? It sometimes feels like all of those things that I used to want, I might still, but I am not quite sure.

Enter this idea: "The thing is there is never a time when you will be more honest, and your convictions will be more stronger, and your motives will be more pure than they are right now. Which means chase
whatever excites you." Now, this can be horrible advice if you are chasing something bad... but on the contrary, if you are chasing something positive, I see no reason for it not to be true.

You can't let yourself be discouraged by the missed attempts and the failures and the uncertainties of different ideas and dreams. If you want something, do it. What you want can exist and the only think keeping us from reaching these far off worlds of success is the lack of belief in what we think that we can do. Sure this sounds a bit new age, but by if we can just stop for a minute and think of all the things that could go right if we follow what we want to do, rather than breaking ourselves down piece by piece, or in her words, spark by spark, until there is nothing left, we can be building a fire towards our dreams rather and putting them out.

Just a thought.

Monday, June 13, 2011

Sunshiney Day

Still dealing with the header! Arg! Maybe tomorrow will be the day of artistic inspiration.

Summer has started and so has the continuation of my blogging. Yesterday, was busy. But first, right now I am listening to a great song. Really great, more on that later. Here in Northern Virginia, it's HOT! Really hot and really humid, actually it's just like South Florida in the summertime.... Thick.

Anyway, yesterday left me with four new skills that I think are interesting enough to share.

1. I went on a walk. In nature. In the woods. In humidity. Near standing water. There were a lot of bugs. We barely survived, Claire and I. Get it?

2. Rock Band 3. So I have been in Europe for the last three weeks, and just because Iceland's volcanoes weren't spewing this week didn't mean that that continent was in the clear. No, in fact this week, the cucumbers were attacking. Everywhere I went, the news or the papers were spreading propaganda about les Concombres Toxiques, or the Toxic Cucumbers. Immediately, I thought to myself, "What an excellent band name!" Convienently, after returning to the states, a primo oppourtunity presented itself. Yesterday, Claire's sister bought Rock Band 3 -- we needed new songs after playing too much Rock Band 2. After firing it up, we of course needed a rockin' name for our new band -- and voila, I spoke, and the Toxic Cucumbers became real. That game is pretty fun, that and Just Like Heaven by The Cure is on it. Got 100% on that song, thank you... singing.

Also, it was found out that it wasn't the cucumbers that were toxic, it was bean sprouts, which I hadn't been avoiding.

3. This one is actually useful information. Last night I saw the new Woody Allen flick, Midnight in Paris. It was great! The shots of Paris were stunning, and the movie is a must see for anyone who loves classic literature and art. The movie follows a man who is visiting Paris with his wife, but everynight after midnight, he is transported back to Paris in the 1920's and become part of the social scene with all the artists and authors who were living in Paris at that time. So cool. However, half of the movie is in French, so bring someone with you to translate if you don't speak French!

4. Almost forgot! Made dinner with ingredients from Whole (Paycheck) Foods yesterday. We made flank steak and risotto. The marinate on the flank stake was killer!!!!!! Killer!!!!! Also, the risotto was inspiring.We made regualar risotto with asparagus, and then added gruyere, from France might i add, and marscapone cheese. Let's just say, it was rivaling the four cheese risotto that I had in Bordeaux last week! So amazing!! I should write that recipe down! Maybe I will.

Going to the National Mall today with Claire. The weather is stunning!!!!
Enjoy summertime!

“Sun is shining. Weather is sweet. Make you wanna move your dancing feet.”  - Bob Marley

Sunday, June 12, 2011


Not really digging the new background or the header, but for now, it will have to do.

I have given up on writing the code for my own blog, and realized this morning that blogger has tabs to add new pages... so.... voila.... I can have basically the same site here on blogger without all of the confusion of coding when i barely know what I am doing.

So now for some real information:

Currently, I am a vagrant. I have no job, no place to be, and basically no responsibilities. That sounds like an enticing work ethic for future employers doesn't it? Well, with the exception of putting this small piece of information on my blog (joke), I am not spreading that news around. I already bounced it off one arrogant man and got insulted. However, I think that the insult was on him... he made fun of my degree, communication, and then in turn, ;i used my communication skills to back his sorry arrogant cancer lobbyist end all be all attitude into the corner of the champagne tasting room that we were in. I think he might still be reeling from confusion... do you think that he has figured out that he was insulted or what a rotationplasty is?

I just got back from my AMAZING three week trip to France. The details could be published in to a short story, so to make it even shorter, it was so great. If you want more details, give me a call and i'll give you a short vignette, otherwise, it looks like you'll be waiting for the published version, and i am not sure when that will make it to the shelves, but keep and eye out.

So, I've made some changes to my blog, hopefully, over the next few days, I can get things squared away around here. I still have some stories that I haven't put up and so other things that are kind of cool. For now, check out that article that i posted before this one on Eco-Terrorism..... a very important issue facing society today... to turn or not to turn off the lightbulb.... that is the question.

For now, here's a quote: "Don't write anything you can phone. Don't phone anything you can talk. Don't talk anything you can whisper. Don't whisper anything you can smile. Don't smile anything you can nod. Don't nod anything you can wink."


Saturday, June 11, 2011


So, I read this article the other day and i liked it. I am an eco-terrorist, but i try and improve myself everyday. Enjoy....

So, here's where I stand on the whole "Save the Planet" thing. I'm far from being a hippie. I don't shop with canvas bags, although I genuinely would like to remember that they are in the trunk of my car EVERY time I go to the grocery store. When I thaw meat, I leave it in a bowl of running water for about an hour (and feel guilty about it). When I take a shower, I enjoy it for however long I like (and don't feel guilty about it). I use disposable diapers from Seventh Generation (also no guilt there). One of our cars is not a hybrid and I drive it everywhere, usually without carpooling. I don't unplug my computer or toaster daily-- okay, EVER... and I still throw away many plastic bags (yes, I said it, so all of you who are also too busy to remember when recycling day is-- or worse, who have to go take your recycling to the Recycling Center-- can join me in my shame).

That being said, I don't buy soda or plastic water bottles, and I don't litter or spit my gum out anywhere but in a garbage. I try to get paper instead of plastic at the store and reuse the bags often, and I drink everything from a glass or reusable bottle. I wait until the dishwasher and washer/dryer are full before doing loads, I like to turn out lights when i leave a room, and I immediately fix all dripping faucets. We support a local farm share, I recycle all old electronics, I trained myself to turn off the water while brushing my teeth, and I have a compost bucket in the kitchen. I rarely use plasticware, and I NEVER use styrofoam. I don't even like ordering takeout from restaurants that use it for packaging and I think it should be illegal.

So, why the sudden confession? Well, honestly I feel a little bombarded with the current media obsession over GREEN. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE this beautiful planet. I get pissed when I see a car spewing black smoke or someone littering on the street. It's obvious that over the last fifty years we have not been kind to this earth, which is truly a gift. However, I think there needs to be a healthy dose of reality added to the Green agenda. From what I've seen, the Green movement has prioritized the environment & animals over the condition of the human heart and the condition of our freedoms. There are holocausts occurring in the world! There are children and babies being sold for sex and drug trafficking! There are people starving everywhere. There are little boys being trained for guerrilla militia daily. Innocence is being robbed EVERYWHERE. Thirty million Americans are functionally illiterate. Women are still devastatingly oppressed all over the world... The list goes on and on.

But above all this -- your neighbor is sick and can't afford his medical bills. The elderly are often cast aside as useless and sometimes discarded into poorly cared for facilities. Pornography is still tearing apart marriages, and someone you know is being sexually abused. Racism is not yet a thing of the past, and people still spend energy hating others over things like sexual preference and religious preference...

"But," some might say, "without the planet, we won't even exist to fight those issues in the first place!"

Really? You want to wait until the planet and the tigers are saved before you start combatting the darkness in your own backyard? If your children are being abused in your home but you're upside-down on your mortgage, would you focus on paying the bills, saying, "Without a house, we won't even have a place to live in while we stop the abuse!?" Of course not!

Look, here's the meat and potatoes of what I'm trying to say...

If you feel a strong calling-- a connection to the environment or certain animals in danger, I would never say to ignore that calling. If you feel your destiny is with Greenpeace, by all means, give Greenpeace hell! Perhaps you are meant to make a great difference in the lives of the people you encounter while on this charge--perhaps they in yours. But it IS the PEOPLE who are most important here. I would challenge you all to revisit your position on this. Yes, do what you can within reason to respect the earth we've been given -- recycle when you can, turn off lights and don't litter. Yes, toss a quarter or dollar into the cup with the picture of the malnourished horse at the checkout counter. But please don't stop there! You are meant to make a significant contribution to the people in this world, no matter how small. Sure, it's easier to just throw money or support at any random organization that seems worthy, just as it is easier to maintain surface friendships -- intentionality is HARD WORK! But we are designed for it. We are fulfilled in the pursuing of relationship more than activity...

So, carry on! Enjoy completing your civil and environmental duties, but don't forget to be intentional with the relationships around you! And remember that your philanthropic cause is not more or as important as the person with whom you are crusading.